a Hope in the Darkness.

It was a crisp, fall day. The kind of day where the sky is shining blue, the grass is bright green, and the leaves on the trees are so orange and red that you wish you could take a million photographs. A girl was on her way to something new. She wished she could tell you what that was, but that would have been impossible. She had been walking for hours, taking everything in. breathing. Her wavy dark hair blew with the breeze, and as she came to a clearing she looked up. There stood a huge, red barn. It had two great big, wooden, sliding doors. And it looked as if it had been painted yesterday.

“How?” she wondered, “how could it look so nice? No one lives out here.” She slowly approached the building, wondering if possibly she had wandered onto private property and should turn away. Inside though, she knew that she was somehow exactly where she needed to be. She slowly lifted her hand, and gently touched the big red door. It was as if everything were in slow motion. Next she brought her other hand to join the first. Then as if taken over by a burst of energy, she slid the door with all her might; and, and.. it opened!

She stood in awe for a moment at what she saw inside. Then she walked in.

Inside were shelves and shelves of books. Books of all sorts, different sizes, different colors; but all in perfect condition. She walked in cautiously, though less unsure now. When she got to the middle of the Barn she looked up, and there she saw a loft. And in the loft was a man. He was sitting in a big, leather chair, looking down happily at her.

She looked down at herself and then back at him, trying to figure out why he was looking at her with such a contented look. Though some people in this situation would have been frightened, the girl was quite at ease. She looked around and saw the latter to the loft, and then she walked towards it.

“No need.” The man said when he saw where she was headed. “I’ll be right down.”

And with the most graceful movements the girl had ever seen, the calm man made his way down to her. When he was beside her, she realized how big this man was. But not a strange big, or even a scary big. It was a comforting big. His kindness was as evident as his power. She couldn’t stop looking at him. He chuckled.

“You don’t know exactly what it is you’re looking at, do you?” He asked.

She hardly felt worthy enough to speak so she slowly shook her head.

“All of this,” He said as if he had already knew what she was going to say. “Is yours. Each one of these books has everything about you, everything you’ve ever learned, and everything you’ve felt in them. And then the rest of the books are things that you’ve yet to learn, experience, and feel.”

Her eyes grew wide. She looked around her and there were so many books she couldn’t even count them all. Could this possibly be true?

“But.. how?” she whispered.

“Oh, it’s very easy to understand. If you’re willing.” The man said again with a smile. “you see, I am your Keeper. I know everything about you; where you’ve been and where you’re going..”

“But that,” she interrupted. “That’s exactly what astonishes me. I’m not so sure I can go on. I’m not so sure it’s worth it anymore.”

The man smiled to himself, almost with a sadness, then he put his big, sturdy arm around the girl and continued:

“Don’t you see? I know you can go on. That’s why you’re here. You may think it’s not worth it to take another breath. But look.. Look at all of the books. You’ve got so much left that I have written for you. It’s not over, trust me.”

She was still confused, but inside of her she knew it would be foolish to not believe this Man.

“Won’t you trust me?” he asked again. “You’ve got so much more to live for.”

She looked around once more, and then looked for the first time into the eyes of the Man. She almost lost her footing, his eyes were so deep. So full of a love that she had never experienced before. This was a love she has often longed for, but never found. And not only was there love, but there was truth. A deep truth in His eyes that made her believe.

She smiled. “Yes, yes I think I will.”

The Man smiled and laughed a hearty laugh full of joy. Then He hugged her with a big hug and said, “I promise you, if you keep trusting me, we’ll make it out alive.”

Suddenly everything went dark. The girl opened her eyes and she was back on the bedroom floor. She could see the shadows from the streetlights outside, and she could hear the rain pounding on the window. The blood was still fresh, and the room still lacked another human. But now she had a peace. There was Someone who was with her, this was going to be okay. She slowly sat up, still feeling dizzy from the pills. She tried to prop herself up, but her arm was still stinging. She leaned against the bed and looked to her right. There, on her nightstand, was a bible. She had never seen it before. She reached over and grabbed it, then opened it, and then she read it.

Life moves on even when we feel like it should stop.

Too many times feelings become truth in our lives.

It's one thing to know what you need to do; it's another to do it. And it's completely frustrating when you won't allow yourself to see what it is you actually need to do.

Is it wrong to crave trials? haha. My flesh and my Spirit both are confused by this thought that enters my mind. Trials. I looked up that word and here's one of the many definitions i found:

A state of pain or anguish that tests patience, endurance, or belief

So why would I ever want trials? They hurt, they pull, they push, they shove. They draw me closer to Jesus. In God's word we're often told that trials grow our faith. They teach us things, they make us better. My flesh is still saying "NO!", but my Spirit is starting to be less hesitant.

Now I'm not saying I want my world to fall apart. But I do want to wake up. I want to move on, I want to escape this rut I've dug for myself. I know I need to go somewhere but I can't seem to take the time to listen for God's voice and to hear where He wants me.

Surrender.

To give up or give back (something that has been granted)

Aha! That's it. That's what surrender in the Christian life is all about. God gave us this life. We're nothing but dust that He breathed existence into. So I don't really want to encounter trials in my faith. But I know that they come. And since they haven't, my wandering mind wanders into the world of curiosity about whether something is wrong..

I've always had a problem with surrender. It's because I'm a prideful person who likes to have control. Aren't we all? i don't know. But I do long to let go. None of this is mine. It's all His anyway. Who am I to hold onto it? Who am I not to surrender?

i'm not anyone. i have no excuses. you think i'd just let it go.

-For there is Love that is as strong as death. Jealousy demanding as the grave. And many waters cannot quench this Love. I won't relent until You have it all. My heart is Yours. I wont relent until You have it all. My heart is Yours.

Come be the Fire inside of me! come be the Flame upon my heart..-

"Then Jesus said to HIs disciples, 'If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself and take up his cross, and follow Me." -Matthew16:24

We're Right At The End, So Here We Go Again.

~The sun rests gently on the horizion, sending a orange and pink glow all across the sky. I feel the breeze on my face and I simply breathe. The Presence I long for is drawing closer; though It's always around, I can't always feel it. I feel tired, blessed, hesitant, and excited. But this Presence is the thing I need. it brings the beauty and it holds my heart~

So I can hardly believe that summer is over. So much happened, when I try to think over it all I easily get overwhelmed. I feel like I've learned a lot. And I've been so blessed. :) This past week especially so (only "especially so" because it's fresh in my mind). It was my church's VBS and I taught a station called "Service Showcase". I love Vacation Bible School so much. It's so extremely tiring, but I adore it. I love the kids, I love being goofy, I love giving prizes, and I simply love watching kids learn about and worship Jesus. It really makes my heart soar!

A lot has changed this summer as well. I feel like I'm entering into a whole new life. haha, which I am in a way. I'm skeptical, only because I am not good with change. But I'm trying my hardest to trust Jesus and let Him get me through. That's another thing I'll really treasure from this summer. This summer I feel like I've been re-introduced to Jesus in a way. Before my faith had grown stale. I was basically going through the motions because it's all I've ever known. But after Delta this summer I get excited just when I think of Jesus' name. I can't even explain it. I'm trying harder to put Him first, and I'm seeing the difference in my life. I know it's so hard to get out of a rut in your Christian life, no matter what it is. Especially if it's the rut of apathy. But once you break that it's incredible. I pray I'll continue to grow in this direction. And as I go into this next school year, and the beginning of many things, I'm working on trusting God. Trusting Him to hold me, use me, grow me, and provide for me. Which I know He will.

There Is Always Hope.

a Song to Share

this is an amazing song. i heard it for the first time at Delta, and i fell in love with it right from the first line. i hope you enjoy it too :)

What Do I Know Of Holy - Addison Road

What Do I Know Of Holy?

I opened my eyes and I realized exactly where I was. Contrary to what I wished, I was right on the edge, teetering over, peaking into the dark abyss of selfishness and sorrow. I knew that the way I was heading, if I took one more step it could be fatal. I had been doing so well. Why is it that all of the sudden I opened my eyes and was about ready to enter a free fall into somewhere I didn't want to be? (1 Corinthians 10:12) Some would argue that I was catching it early, and that was good. But it was discouraging enough for me to know that I had gotten there at all. Why can't we be perfect?

I started to get upset, I wanted to cry out and I did but still my heart's habit of being human caused my prayers to only be half hearted. Sure I wanted to be saved from where I was, but I wanted to take the path that had led me to where I was. (Jeremiah 17:9)

Then here came the wind of guilt. How come that wind is so strong and unpredictable? Nevertheless it was there pushing against me, sliding me ever closer to the edge that I was already on. The tears started to brim; but then I closed my eyes and tensed up. Was this really going to happen..? Am I really going to let it all blow away?

. . .

Suddenly it was all so clear. The wind seemed to pause and I heard a beautiful sound, which led to a glorious thought. My Protector is right there with me. He'd never left. Which maybe I had known all along.. But there was one thing I'd forgotten. He loved me. He loves me.

The wind went away, and I was slowly pulled away from the edge. His love changed everything. It stopped my decline in its tracks. I may have been quickly drawn to the edge, but just as quick I was reminded that the power of my Protector's love is greater than any mistake that seems to be staring me down. I relaxed when I was reminded He was there, then He got me back on the right track. And His love made it all okay.

Have you encountered this love?

The love that is stronger than anything you're dealing with?

He loves us.

Happy Birthday America

When i think of my country and the things that we've known

I'm humbled and blessed by my beautiful home.

But where did it come from, how did it start?

It started from with tears, and it broke many hearts.

We all came from different places but fled from the same

the same lies and the ties that drove us insane.

Our forefathers knew, straight from the start

without Almighty God, this country would halt.

So they put Him first and let Him decide

how we would live, and what laws should abide.

We faced many struggles and more sacrifices

as our men stood and fell from the enemies devices.

In the end we lost many battles, but we won the war

and this gave the freedom all hungered for.

And I know the reason we won, it's right at the core

the people back then knew what they fought for.

They fought for what's right, honest, and true

they stood up and screamed till England turned blue.

I wish I had been there when things were so clear

we saw evil as evil and didn't want it here.

So take time to remember, oh, please don't forget

that this Country was once pure and legit.

We didn't like evil, we strove for what's right

now with prayer as our weapon, let's continue to fight.

God Bless America.

Can You Say, "Amazing Love"?

Life is a whirlwind for sure. And one thing that I've come to accept is the beauty of it. Especially when I have someone as incredible as Jesus Christ on my side.
Recently I've had a lot of good times, and a lot of "realizations". I'm trying more so lately to give God my best. To really try and encounter Him, to grow and know Him the way He desires me to. God showed me that, contrary to what I've always thought, my purpose is to know God. To really know Him. I always thought that each of us had a sole purpose, that was uniquely ours. A purpose to do something. To change the world in some way. To be able to be remembered. But guess what! We do all have a purpose, yes. But that purpose is to know God. That's all He requires of us. That's all He desires from us.
He is such a great, indescribable God, that by knowing Him we can't help but improve our person. And when we do that which we were created to do; know God.

Seek Him, talk to Him, read His love letter to us, sit quietly in His presence.

When we get to that point, the other things will come about through Him. Then it truly is all for His glory. And we can honestly take no part of the glory. The only glory we can accept is the glory of knowing the One true, Holy, Incredible God.

Am I making sense?
We can do nothing; to do is not our purpose. To put it another way, it's not our job. Our job is to know God. To really know Him. Isn't that incredibly relieving..and yet also humbling, and almost unbelievable.

One other thought that recently slapped me in the face in an incredible fashion: Yahweh loves us. He loves me. He loves me more than I can ever even imagine imagining. His grace and His love goes so beyond what I've ever even dreamed of. No matter what He loves me. No matter where I am, no matter what I've done. No matter what you've done. No matter where you are. Can you get that through your head? I know that sometimes I can better than other times. But it's such a huge deal.

The Star Breather Loves us. and He wants us to know Him.

Original.

My God's enough
to heal the broken.
Though life is tough
He'll see you through.
Don't close your eyes
He's holding you.
you're in paradise.

When the words don't come, it's okay to be quiet. Just listen, don't turn and run. He is here with you

My God's enough
to heal the broken.
Though life is tough
He'll see you through.
Don't close your eyes
He's holding you.
you're in paradise.

When life is hard. His hands are soft. Just run to him, into His arms. He knows your problems. And He'll make a way. He'll be there for you.

My God's enough
to heal the broken.
Though life is tough
He'll see you through.
Don't close your eyes
He's hold you.
you're in paradise.

The Sound of Your Name.

all credit to Air1 and Above the Golden State ;)

I Will Fear No Evil, For You Are With Me.

And even though I feel so loney
like I have never been before
You never said it would be easy
but You said You'd lead me through the storm
He Will Carry Me - Mark Shults

What an awesome phrase. Life is not easy. And if you're living you know that. ;) Sometimes I can find myself (and I'm sure you all can relate) so burdened and discouraged about life's uneasyness. Not only do we lose people, but we get hurt, we fall down, we fail, and sometimes it rains. So what's the point? Where's the silver-lining?

Jesus.

I know that may sound so..heard before. But it rings true each and every time. God tells us countless time's in His word to not be afraid. Not only that, but He promises to never ever leave us.(Check out Joshua 1, Exodus 14:13, Hebrews 13:5) What difference does that make? Ohh, I'm so glad you asked.
God, Jesus, is the star breather. He is the creator of the universe. He formed every single little teeny cell inside of your elaborate body. He is the Alpha and Omega (beginning and ending); and He's the king of kings. I could go on and on about all the things God is (basically He's indescribeable) but one of the most awesome things He did was to die for us. He died on a cross for everyone of our sins. Then, He rose again and conqurered the grave! He actually defeated death. Once you accept Him, the star breathing savior, He makes us one of His own. He lives in us.
So are we making sense yet? I know, it may seem like a lot to take in..Jesus is definitely that amazing. But I'm just saying that because we are God's children, He's on our side. Forever and always. And He tells us time and time again to not be afraid, and to not be discouraged because He's got our back. The star breathing savior has our backs. And I personally am trying everyday to remind myself of that and to hold fast to Him no matter what this crazy life decides to throw at me. :)

The same power that conquered the grave lives in me, lives in me. Your love that rescued the earth lives in me, lives in me.

lots of love everybody :)

Not a Blogger

So I've finally figured out I'm not really a blogger. (I'm sure many of you could have shared that obvious fact with myself a long time ago) It's actually kinda funny; sometimes I spend hours trying to think of how to say what I'm feeling. How to write it, how to share it with someone else in a real, honest, tangible way. (to be honest, I do have what I like to call *blurps* when everything just seems to flow in a goregous, shareable way; but for those I give credit to God ;]) And then I can turn on the radio or itunes and hear a song that says it all: right there, bam! Then I'm in awe. And I post the lyrics, play the song endlessly, and tell everyone how amazing it was. lol. (think I'm a music freak?)
I long to aid in the fueling of people's fire. I long to encourage and strengthen those who are fallen. I long to share the unspeakable love of Jesus in a way that someone can truly understand how unspeakable it really is. Yet my words always seem to come when I don't intend them.
But maybe that's a gift, maybe that's the way it's supposed to be.

My life in 3D!

Hey guys :)
So Molly has encouraged me to attempt a more normal blog post. Haha, who knew that such a friend as she would encourage me to be normal? (just kiddinggg ;) So here's whats been going on in my life as of late.
I've pretty much been booked solid. lol. I was actually thinking about it today and I really have been like super busy every day for the past month or so. And I love it. You all probably know me well enough to know that I thrive on being busy. A few of the weeks though, between going to my grandparents, and going to friends houses (for fun and work!) I didn't sleep in the same bed two nights in a row. I was actually getting a taste of being on the road. It wasn't too shabby. ;) So my main source of business has been National Day of Prayer. Just in case there's any confusion; God basically dropped the "cooridnator" position of our church's National Day of Prayer event this year in my lap. And it's really been a blessing. I'm so excited to be a part of something that was started by someone whom I miss and love a lot..But I'm also excited about it because it's such a great thing. Gathering local Christians to pray for our country. I firmly believe that God hears us whenever we pray (and even when we don't) and our prayers change His heart. I also firmly believe that our country needs mega prayer! So this was definitely something God had for me.
I'm pretty sure He confirmed it to me in an awesome way as well:
So I was going through a tough time one night, and I just begged for God to drop something in my lap. And He did--Psalm 33. It's amazing. I suggest you all read it. And a few days later my band played for youth group. I was planning on sharing this Psalm with my youth group, but when I got there my youth leader quickly asked if we could possibly go with the theme to close the night. The theme was going along with the movie Amazing Grace (awesome movie, i suggest you all watch it. lol) So I immediately thought, "ah man, this psalm doesn't apply at all..God give me something else!" The night continued, and I vainly attempted to try and find something else in the Psalm's that I thought would apply more; nothing was coming. So I sighed like an oblivious human and after the movie our band got up. And no matter what I did, I couldn't shake the feeling of needing to share this psalm..So I took the plunge! And let me tell you: God is so smart! haha. For real, this Psalm 33 applied so much more than I could have ever imagined. I practically started crying as I read it. In my heart I was screaming, "God you're too good. You are really too good."
Fast forward to not too long ago..I had expressed my interest to my youth leader early in the year of wanting to be involved with NDP. But no one had stepped up yet; and my youth leader happily suggested that I step up. (=O YIKES!) haha. So I prayed about it, and before I could even really reply, God did. And I was the one. But then I found out that, get this, the theme verse for The National Day of Prayer this year is (hold your breath) Psalm 33:22 "Let Your mercy, O LORD, be upon us, just as we hope in You."
So yeah, basically there's no plausible doubt in my mind that I'm not where God wants me. And so many people have stepped up and told me they're willing to help, which is so stellar. I'm really stoked about what God's going to do in Haslett Park, Ft. Plain on May 7th, 2009
(yeah, that wasn't a plug or anything..)

Lots of love everybody :)

♫

Isn't it funny how certain songs become the theme songs for certain periods in your life? Okay, so I guess it's possible that this sort of thing only happens with me; but I doubt it. It's like when I hear a song by Mae *a great band my sister-in-law introduced me to* I automatically feel like I'm in the summer of 2007. And it makes me think of all the excitement of friends, family, and new additions to the family. It brings a smile to my face, and makes me crave summer's heat :)
Then there's the Comatose CD. More specifically the song Say Goodbye. Which brings me way back to June or so of 2006. (okay, so way back is a relative term) It makes me think of friends that now live far away, and all the struggles I brought upon myself in the next few months.
It's such a strange/cool thing for me to think about how by just listening to a song I can be almost transported to another time in my life. If you didn't know this about me, I struggle a lot with change. A lot. haha. But maybe God's given me a love for music to help me with that. I mean, I guess that can kind of be a stretch. But I always try to listen to music that honors Him. And I know that He can really speak to me, and comfort me though music. So when He made me, He knew that I would love music and that He would use that in a huge way in my life..
It's so comforting to know that God is always with me, and knows what's going on in my life. And in those times when He happens to provide me with a song, it's just that much better!

"Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also
in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told
you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a
place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be
where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." John 14:1-4

As you look around you do you ever get discouraged by the sadness, pain, and hardships of life? Sometimes it seems like that's pretty much the whole story too. We're just here for about 70-ish years and we survive through the hard stuff, then we die.
But is that it? No. It's not :) And frankly, that's reason enough to be stoked.
But that's pretty much only the beginning:
not only is there a Saviour who died to rescue all who call on His name. But He promised us that He's going to prepare a place for us. A place where we will live forever. A perfect place, with no more pain, tears, sin, or sorrow..
A place where we will be in the very presence of God for all of eternity. We will never have to worry about losing anything, or anyone. We will never have to fear failure. We will be perfectly complete in Christ. We will never lack anything. Time won't matter because we will be so caught up in praising our Saviour. No one will sound any better than anyone else, there will be no voice competitions, we will all just worship God in the beauty of holiness. We will also live in beautiful mansions, on streets made of gold.
But honestly, I'm not sure the mansions will matter to me all that much. I honestly just can't wait to see Jesus. To be held by Him, to see His scars, and cry tears of joy and amazement.
So when I think about all these things, the present day troubles seem to be not so bad. And I get excited for what I have to look forward to. Not only can I expect all these awesome things, but there are so many things about my Heavenly home that I don't know yet.
And frankly, I can't think of a more exciting surprise!

Creatures of Habit? Eh..No Biggy

Our lives are full of habits. Every single day we do things mainly out of habit; wake up at the same time (for the most part..lol) every morning, brush our teeth, eat, use the bathroom...So yeah, I admit we need to do these things, but they're still habits. Humans are even known as creatures of habit. But how many habits do we have that we should maybe be rid of (in our physical and spiritual lives)?
Think about this:
What if every time you went to the bathroom you brushed your teeth? Interesting thought. It's kind of a different routine is it not? Soon enough this would become a habit, but not necessarily a bad one right? In fact both of these things are very important in a life of good hygiene..
This is how It goes with a lot of people (not excluding myself). They discover something not bad, and or maybe easy, in and of its self and they put tons of effort into it. You think, "This is great! It's a good thing, and I'm doing it. God must be so proud of me.." But what if this good thing is keeping you from something even better? Let's go back to the bathroom-
Now, what if this new habit of brushing your teeth kept you from washing your hands? (eek!) Yeah, suddenly this "not bad" habit turns into something that is keeping you from the "best" habit you could adopt after using the bathroom.
In our lives it's so easy to focus on things that we think are good, and then assume that they're God's will for our lives. Or maybe even if we know they aren't God's will, we still do them because they're safe, and "not bad". Lets take the time to search our lives, our hearts, and God's heart to see what needs to change in our lives in order for God to really use us. His plans are so much bigger than ours, and so often our little heads and habits get in the way. I think for God to really use us for all that He has, we have to surrender every single little habit to Him. And I hope and pray we'll all do that more and more as we grow.
"Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen." Ephesians 3:20-21

25 Things That Make Me Smile =D

1: talking to my friends all night on aim, about absolutely nothing. (and usually bringing "lol" to a whole new level)
2: my family, especially when we get goofy.
3: little kids. period.
4: Band's pod casts.
5: a cute couple. You know, like when the guys opens the door for the girl. Or when he brings her a flower just because..hehe
6: Raise Your Voice bloopers. (ahaha)
7: sunsets.
8: stars.
9: music.
10: jokes about clowns and..and..well we'll just stick with clowns. ;)
11: sleepovers. :) you know, running into doors, having mental breakdowns, making ridiculous videos, star gazing with sunglasses, playing catch phrase, dancing for no reason, calling air1, eating until we drop..the works ;)
12: watching or hearing people laugh. It's seriously contagious.
13: making people laugh when some poor awkward person tells an unfunny joke.
14: "The tree's have us surrounded!"
15: inside jokes w/ myself.
16: Delta Lake
18: the word "squishy"
19: hugs.
20: puns. (ahahaha..I really can't imagine life without them)
21: Old people car-pooling. for real, it cracks me up. lol
22: guys who work at price chopper. (there's a really fine one at the Johnstown price chopper, and one who just cracks me up at the Palentine one)
23: Cary Grant. (lol)
24: my youth group; everyone in it & everything we do.
25: And the main thing that even makes it possible for me to smile, is Jesus Christ. The one who gave His life for me, regardless of how unworthy I am, just because He loves me. :D

The Little Girl and The Maestro

Alright, before I start I just want to say I did not write this! It's an excerpt from an amazing book I just read, it's called, "Keeping The Gospel in Gospel Music" by Scott Wesley Brown. I highly recommend it to any musician or music lover. It's great. :) And this following part really got to me. I hope you enjoy it! (Grab some tissues.)

It was the most beautiful instrument she had ever seen. The little girl pressed her nose against the frosted window of the music shop. There in the midst of shiny new trumpets with bright red Christmas bows lay a little violin just her size. Leaning against a beautifully gift wrapped box was the treasure which topped her Christmas list.
Oh, if Mom and Dad only knew how much she dreamed about that little violin and how she pictured herself playing the sweetest melodies.
But the little girl's parents had noticed how she stopped by the music shop window every day on the way home from school. And they had secretly put a deposit down on the instrument. When Christmas morning arrived the little girl bounded down the stairs to the cozy den where the decorated tree stood. All night long it seemed, she had wondered if her prayers would be answered.
And now the moment had arrived. Her sleepy eyes gazed over a myriad of green and red and silver boxes. Her little heart pounded as she looked for anything that resembled that special box in the window.
There! Yes there to the back of the tree was a box that could be...yes it looked just like that one in the window.
Mom and Dad both had that special grin on their faces and by now she knew her dream had come true. She headed straight to the box and pulled the ribbon undone. Lifting off the lid she almost closed her eyes as if to prolong the sheer excitement of the moment.
There was the brown leather case and in the soft scarlet velvet lining rested the most beautiful little violin in the world. "This is the bestest Christmas ever," she exclaimed as she wrapped her arms around mom and dad.
"Now we have signed you up for lessons as soon as school starts back," her Mom said.
"Yes," Dad piped in, "With one of the greatest teachers in the entire city. A maestro who has taught some of the greatest violinists around."
"So, we are expecting you to work hard and learn everything you can about playing the violin." Mom said.
"And practice too," Dad added.
"Oh I will, I will," The little girl said with determination.
Dad was right. The maestro was a great master of the violin. The little girl sat in amazement as he showed her everything about the violin. And when he played, it was almost like a ballerina dancing smoothly and precisely over the strings. It was majestic! The little girl dreams of skillfully playing the sweetest melodies captured her every thought.
Oh, how wonderful it would be to please her teacher and honor him by learning everything he so lovingly taught her. But it was hard work. The maestro commanded deep commitment and an abiding faithfulness, and the little girl put everything she had into her practice.
Although she looked forward to each new lesson, she knew he would challenge her to greater heights. Lesson after lesson, and practice after practice, finally the squeaky sounds gave way to a steady note. Finally the fingers danced and the violin sang it's beautiful melody.
It was hard, but it was glorious.
But, of course, all of this was behind a closed door in her bedroom or at the maestro's studio.
The Spring recital was just around the corner and all the young students shared the nervous notion of going public. The little girl was no exception so she worked even harder. She knew her performance would reflect everything her master had taught her.
Everyday she spent special time reviewing his violin book. Going over each lesson and memorizing each principle, her confidence began to grow. It wasn't so much a confidence in herself but more a confidence in her master and his word.
"If you abide in this faithfully," he said, "you will play the violin and play it well."
The Spring recital arrived so quickly and all the young students dressed in their Sunday best, arrived at the downtown concert hall.
Moms, dads, aunts, uncles, and even the mayor began to take their seats in the auditorium. The place was packed and full of nervous expectations. The lights dimmed, and the curtain opened, and one by one each student took their place at center stage. It was a wonderful evening and each violinist glimmered like a little star in the night sky.
The little girl was the last student to perform. She sat quietly behind the side curtain her mind busy at work, going over every note of the piece she would play. Every crescendo, and every portamento was so important because her teacher had taught her every step of the way. She wanted to present her work with passion back to the master of the song.
It was her turn. She stepped out on stage and into the light. A thousand faces stared back at her. Silently she lifted the little violin to her shoulder. With bow in position and chin up she closed her eyes and began to play. The audience could not believe their ears. Although each of the students had played well, something special filled the air. Like a graceful ballerina, this little girl's song danced smoothly and precisely over the stings of her little violin. It was majestic!
All the while, with her eyes closed, she clearly focused on one thing--her master and all that he'd taught her. And with each sweep of the bow came the sweetest melody. Finally that last glorious note echoed into forever as she held her bow high in the air.
The audience stood to their feet and the applause grew louder than a hundred waves crashing onto a shore. The mayor was exuberant, and Mom and Dad wept in that special pride only parents share.
But the little girl seemed not to notice at all. Her face was expressionless as her eyes peered out into the audience. Past the mayor, past her parents, past the cheering audience, she searched for the great master for whom she had played.
Where was the maestro?
Finally, there on the front row of the balcony sat that man she had grown to love and respect with such a devotion. There was the teacher who called for dedication, faithfulness, and practice. Still seated, his eyes looked straight into hers as if he were right in front of her and within reach. For the little girl it felt like forever as she waited for her master, the great maestro, to respond.
Suddenly, in one swift movement he stood triumphantly to his feet and yelled, "Bravo!"
And then a smile broke across the little girl's face.



"And then the Lord said, 'Well done good and faithful servant'" (Matthew 25:21)

Refreshing Hope

Therefore, having been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom also we have access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and rejoice in hope of the glory of God. And not only that, but we also glory in tribulations, knowing that tribulation produces perseverance; and perseverance, character and character, hope. No hope does not disappoint, because the love of God has been poured out in our hearts by the Holy Spirit who was given to us.

(Romans 5:1-5)

...Casting all your care upon Him [God] because He cares for you. Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour. Resist him, steadfast in the faith, knowing that the same sufferings are experienced by your brotherhood in the world. But may the God of all grace, who called usto His eternal glory by Christ Jesus, after you have suffered a while, perfect, establish, strenghten, and settle you. To Him be the gloty and the dominion forever and ever. Amen.

(1 Peter 5:7-11)

But now, thus says the LORD, who created you, O Jacob, and He who formed you, O Israel: "fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by your name; You are Mine. When you pass through the waters, I will be with you; And through the rivers, they shall not overflow you. When you walk through the fire, you shall not be burned, Nor shall the flame scorch you. For I am the LORD your God, The Holy One of Israel, your Savior, I gave Egypt for your ransome, Ethiopia and Seba in your place. Since you were precious in My sight, You have been honored, and I have loved you...

(Isaiah 43:1-4a)

Becoming a true Rebelutionary

Okay, I feel like I've been blogging way too much lately. But I have something super exciting I want to share with the world..

I am finally realizing what it is to trust God!

For so long God's been trying to get it through my thick skull that I need to trust Him. And now I'm finally beginning to do that. I feel like I go through struggles and issues so much in my life. And each time I think I deal with them by trusting God, which is what I should do. But I've never really understood what that meant.
Today in school I had to read the book of James. It is an incredible book! I challenge you to read it for yourself. It really impacted me. One of the many things that popped out to me was the 17th verse of the 2nd chapter: "Even so faith, if it hath not works, is dead, being alone." It also talks a lot about rejoicing in our trials (1:2-12) because they are what shape us into what God wants us to be. And James stressed the importance of continuing in our faith, especially when times are hard. How awesome is that? To truly trust God means to believe what He says is true, and because of that you do what He asks you to. You do hard things for His glory.

So no matter how hard things get in my life, and how tempted I am to give in to the lies of the devil, I will not (James 1:12-17, 1 Corinthians 10:13) Because I have a big God, and I know that He has a plan in everything that I am going through. And I know that because of my struggles and doubts, He will strengthen my faith, stretch my patience, and mold me into the woman He wants me to be. :)

The question isn't "Has God given up on us?" But rather, "Have we given up on God?"

Everywhere you look people are talking about how 2009 has the potential of being one of America's scariest years. With the economy in crises, and all these "changes" headed our way; it's hard not to wonder whether or not they'll be good changes. Especially from a Christian point of view-Everything we know could soon be no more..

But in reality, is there anyone to blame but ourselves? Have we not brought this upon ourselves by sitting back quietly and comfortably for too long? Are we finally ready to stand up and move forward no matter what the cost, shining the light of Jesus?

I am. [oh how i am.] I am so sick of being on fire for God for about a week, and then letting it die. I'm so sick of seeing my country walk away from God because I've been too lazy to stand up and speak the truth. This time, I'm going to stand up.

I challenge all of us to make the decision to do hard things for God everyday. To pray because we know God is listening, and that prayer moves His heart. To live everyday as if its the last one. To never, ever, let a chance to talk about Jesus go by unused. To love those around me with God's unselfish love. To not blend in with our frightened neighbors; but to tell them about the God who can take away their fears..

It is time to stop watching from our comfortable pews. It's time to start standing up for Christ, and doing what He's called us to do.
Everyone knows that time is short and uncertain. So I'm challenging you, and more so myself, to live every second for God. Completely for God.

"But you are a chosen race, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people for God's own possession, that you may proclaim the excellence of Him who has called you out of darkness into His marvelous light." ~1 Peter 2:9

To Revise, Is To Realize.

Well, I'm not exactly sure how much I want to say right now. So I'll just give you a peek at what I've been learning lately..

1. Satan really does want me to fail.
2. Jesus is always there, even when I can't see Him at all.
3. It's not all about me. In fact, it's not even about me at all.
4. I've been sitting back for too long.

I think I've been learning more than that. But that's all I'll share for now.
All I know is that my faith is really being tested. But I'm determined to win the battle. One day at a time, and with Jesus carrying me through every step. I've realized I can't do anything on my own; and life is pretty much miserable when I even try to. But I've also realized that I have to control my own emotions, and I have to decide to hold on to the truth. I'm finding that no matter how many times a lie is screamed, it won't [and it can't] change the truth. And I'm realizing I need to ignore the lies.

I'm ready to start doing big things. I may say that a lot, [especially with all the excitement of a new year] but this time one of the big things I do, is going to be not falling back into a lazy state. Time is too valuable. God has such big plans, and awesome things in store. Are we..am I..going to just sit back and miss out because I'm comfortable? [I've actually become quite uncomfortable recently] No. I'm not.

Won't you join me?

So it all began with a chocolate raindeer head..

Okay, so I'll be honest, this blog has nothing to do with the title. haha. :]

It's the new year and it seems that the thing to do is make a resolution. Come up with something that you're going to do throughout the year to make yourself, or your life, better. And I'm not going to lie, I've been thinking a lot about what needs to change in my life. And I've realized a lot.

Sometimes as a growing Christian I seem to get so caught up in myself. All it takes is one little mishap and I feel as if I'm worth nothing. [which is true regardless] But I all too soon forget that Jesus makes me worth something. He gives me the strength to be something.

I've also noticed during my recent examining; that I'm struggling with the same thing I've been struggling with for a long time. Trust. Why is it so hard to trust the God of the universe with my life? I like to convince myself that I've given things to God. But it seems that the very next time something comes up, I grab everything back out of His hand. [have you seen "The Stool" video?] Why do I do that? Honestly, I have no idea. But I do know something..

God knows that we're not perfect. He made us with the ability to make our own choices so that we wouldn't be His robots. And we chose to disobey and be sinners. I cannot do anything right on my own.
But that's why I have Jesus. He gave me the gift of grace. I once heard a youth pastor say something like, "So often we become obsessed with trying to be just like Jesus. We can't! It's impossible to be just like Him..we are sinners." Which I agree with completely. I can never measure up to what God would require.
That's why I have Jesus. I am made perfect in my weakness because His strength shines through. He promises to be everything I'll ever need. He'll never leave me. And He always forgives me when I come to Him.
The hardest part for me, is remembering that. A million different songs have been popping up as I've been dealing with my recent struggles. And one that I heard today, by Relient K, said:
~I've a reputation, for replacing, my confidence with fear.~
Boy did Matt hit me right on the head with that one! :) So much lately I've been questioning everything. And it makes me afraid. I seem to *know* everything that God promises. But I freak myself out by thinking it's hard to actually *believe* it. Wrong again.
[i know I'm getting kinda lengthy, but I'm almost finished. i promise ;)]
Faith is not feeling. I actually looked up the word last night in our family's dictionary. And it's definition pretty much said "trusting without reason" [okay that was a paraphrase. but it was the point. i promise. lol] And it was like a light went off! It is not always easy to trust God. But I know that I know that I know He always keeps His word. One thing that He also promised is that being a Christian is not always easy. In fact, it's super hard sometimes. But that's where we insert the trust factor. And when we trust Him, when it's hard, is when He shows us some super stellar stuff. So even though it's hard, I'm going to hold on to the fact that I'm not believing in some made up fantasy. My God is real, and He does do awesome stuff. And He does love me.

~We are healing But it's killing us inside Can we take a chance? When faith and fear collide We can make it Step out and take it We can't live feeling so numb How long can we hold on? Can we hold on? Hold on There's something deep inside That keeps my faith alive When all you can doIs hide from the fear That's deep inside of you Something, something, something Something, something, something To hold me close when I don't know There's something deep inside That keeps my faith alive~
Skillet-Collide

And it begins!

Well this is the start of my blogging life. I'm really not good at this kind of thing, so I hope you all can bare with me. ;)

So I'll pretty much give you a quick background on your writer. I'm just a girl trying to live every day for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. (Yes, I'm one of those Jesus Freaks :) But Christianity is not what many assume it is. I am not a religious person. I am someone who figured out that Jesus loves me more than anything. (Yeah, the same God who created this whole hugee universe, loves me. He loves you too.)

Another thing that is super important in my life is music. :) I play guitar and a little piano. I have an acoustic and an electric guitar. And if you asked my friends, I would be the weird girl who names her guitars. The electric is Ella, and the acoustic is Edward. ;) I think of music as one of the most incredible things God created. And I hope to honor Him with music, throughout my whole life.

I also have some pretty amazing friends (some of which convinced me to do this whole crazy thing. tehe ;) and I'm really grateful for all of them!

I'm not too sure what this blog is going to contain, but I hope that you will be encouraged by what God shows me. I'm actually kind of glad for this whole idea, because I am really excited for this new year. I think, no, I know, God is going to do some incredible stuff in 2009. And it'll be super for me to share it with whomever decides to read. :)